"Wash Day" by Clint 'Father Goose' Wilson
My excitement is so great that I can hardly mask it,
As I sneakily creep up upon the laundry basket.
They’re about to start the contest for the laundry wrestling crown,
And they only start the fighting once there is no one around.
I’m dressed up in a jumpsuit that’s all coloured in red,
It matches to the carpet and the crimson sofa bed.
My camouflage complete, they do not know I am here,
So a washcloth pops up and says, “The coast is all clear.”
The festivities start with the under-card match,
The sock rumble ensues, and it includes the whole batch.
The wools and the cottons, they attack the argyles,
Rolled up into balls, they all fight in different styles.
Then out come the towels, they will fight the pillowcases,
This is so fun to watch- it beats the broom and mop races.
The underwears clap and the cardigans cheer.
The winning towel flexes, and admires himself in the mirror.
The bragging all done. It’s time for the big dance,
Here comes the main event between the shirts and the pants.
The laundry makes room, and the lights they all dim,
The crowd waits ever-patiently on the laundry basket’s rim.
The battle ensues between the corduroys and plaids,
The insults they fly, “You’re from yesterday’s fads!”
They twist and they twirl, to the cheers of the crowd,
The corduroys are brown; the plaid shirts are too loud.
Just when everything is going perfectly fair,
An uninvited wrestler jumps right out of nowhere!
My jumpsuit has gone crazy, in a crazy flash of red,
It jumps into the basket, where I land upon my head.
Forgetting the code of silence, they all attack at once.
The laundry’s trying to kill me; and I feel like such a dunce.
The neighbours call the loony bin, as I run into the street,
Clawing at my crimson jumpsuit, with my head wrapped in a sheet!
Clint "Father Goose" Wilson is a poet/writer, multi-media artist, musician, hot rod and motorcycle enthusiast, businessman, British Columbia Auto Recyclers executive board member and past chairman, hockey coach and father of three. He has many published stories and articles and a full length sci-fi fantasy novel, Flat World, which can be tricky to find in bookstores, but if you ask him nicely he usually has a copy kicking around nearby.
Clint's funky prog rock power trio, "The Frame" of which he is the bass player and lead singer, can be seen playing various venues in and around Vancouver.
When not competing in the Vancouver Poetry Slam, Father Goose shows his respect and gratitude toward the spoken word scene through his artistic endeavours as he is the creator of both the Vancouver Poetry Grand Slam Championship belt, and the recently unveiled Vanslam team trophy. He is also in negotiations with Vanslam organizers to create other trophies/belts/medals or what have you for future, yet-to-be-named awards. Clint "Father Goose" Wilson also runs the Vancouver Story Slam at the Cafe Deux Soleils the second Sunday of every month.
