I too am overjoyed to debate a topic like this. When I really get into the nitty-gritty some people think I'm getting emotional, but it's rarely the case: I just really like hashing a topic out. Here I go again:
Of course writing about your body is allowed; performing about your body is also allowed; the genders really do have the same privileges in terms of the rules. We can touch our body parts (like a man grabbing himself to make him look masculine, or a woman grabbing her chest to talk about how men treat them - I've seen both), but we can't indicate items of clothing. There is no difference in rules between the genders; and if your claim that some people talk more about their clothes is true, it's still a misnomer: they're fine as long as they're not clearly dressing the part, and they're not making a visual display of those clothes with their body gestures.
When you so-happen to be wearing the clothes you've written about, I understand that sometimes that's just a coincidence and that's not your fault. But something I've learned is that the difference between an intentional and an unintentional but perceived violation is invisible to those calling the violations. Just like I make sure not to scorekeep when Lisa's performing, a poet makes sure not to wear the clothes he's slamming about, just in case someone decides it's a deliberate adjunct to the poem. I won't blame a woman for talking about dresses or knee-high boots, but women AND men: try not to wear the exact article you're describing, and try not to touch it, display it, sashay it, or swoosh it. Again, sometimes this is unintentional on the part of the poet, but it must be a rule not to do it, so that the deliberate violators don't have excuses. Last night there were a couple of instances: one person took off his hat and threw it off-stage half-way through his poem. That's a no-no. Another added humour to his discomfort at forgetting his line, by declaring, "Where's my beer?!", finding it, picking it up, gulping some down, displaying an increased level of ease thereafter, and continuing. That's no good either.
So as poets we be careful not to slip up, so that the bad ones don't have excuses. Graham Oldes once approached me after a poem with a warning: I came on stage back in 2002, got in front of the microphone, and took off my hipster sunglasses while saying, "Glasses come off..." The audience chuckled. Graham informed me that was a no-no.
Vancouver's more lax about these rules than other cities, actually. I've heard that in Toronto, one rarely even makes a visual display of himself, but rather just recites. If we begin to become more lax about some things, there will be some culture shock and some disqualification issues when we send people to tournaments.